


Forget About Cape Town

by Ryan_Ross_s_thighs



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Aftercare, Brendon what happened in cape town you fuck, Dear lord help this fucking hurts okay, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Im an awful human being, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Reasons why im a fail (yay), Ryan read the milk fic, Send a psychiatrist, This hurts me more than it hurts you, Yk what im just bad at everything, im gonna cry, my feelings, send help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 20:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10952328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryan_Ross_s_thighs/pseuds/Ryan_Ross_s_thighs
Summary: Prior to sex, Ryan can't help but think about what happened in Cape Town. Brendon comforts him.





	Forget About Cape Town

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at four in the morning because of Kaleidoscope eyes and Cape Town..

"I'm sorry," Brendon said, gently rubbing at the rope marks hinting at Ryan's wrists. "Was I too rough on you?" Ryan shook his head, although a slight tremor making itself present, honey brown eyes glassy as he took his bottom lip between his teeth, looking anywhere but at Brendon. 

"Then why are you.." Brendon trailed off, not exactly sure of what he'd planned on saying. It was more of an impusive sentence. Ryan shrugged, sniffling, no longer facing him, and taking in small, abrupt and shaky wisps of air, repeatedly blinking. Brendon tilted his head curiously, quirking up an eyebrow and staring down at Ryan with a soft, hopeful look; hoping that he wouldn't cry even though he knew that's exactly what was to come. 

"Ryan.." He started gently, hoping that his tone of voice will act as some sort of consolation.

"I'm sorry," Ryan choked out, a stiffled sob following. 

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Brendon questioned, reaching out to run a hand through Ryan's hair. 

"I'm just sorry," Ryan repeated, dropping his head to the side and wiping at his eyes, his features contorting in pain; his face scrunching up as another abrupt sob wracked his frame. Brendon sighed through his nose, propping his elbow up into the mattress and holding himself up there, comfortingly rubbing up and down Ryan's arm, "Hey, what's wrong?" 

"Nothing," Ryan whimpered, closing his eyes as the warm droplets of emotion rushed to flood his cheeks. Yeah, definitely too rough on him.  
Brendon pressed a kiss to the top of his head, "I can be more gentle next time." 

"That's not it," Ryan sniffled, shaking his head, his shoulders trembling and him sounding little, almost inaudible squeaks to try and hold back. 

"Did I do something wrong?" 

"No." 

"Did I say something?" 

"No," Ryan confirmed, drawing in a shaky breath, "I wanted you to do everything you did," he said admittedly, his voice breaking as he rolled over to face him, the patches of skin around his eyes and nose an irritable pink and his eyes gemming with the tears he tried to keep from falling. Brendon's eyes softened, his features relaxing sympathetically and he parted his lips as if to say something. 

"I—" Ryan began, "I left you." his breathing hitched, "Me and Jon, we fucking left." 

"Hey, no, shh," Brendon tried to soothe, wiping at Ryan's tears with the pad of his thumb. He had no idea why Ryan was bringing this up now.

"I'm so—" A sob broke his chest, this one definitely audible, "I'm sorry."

Brendon's first reaction was to hold him. He didn't want an explanation, he wasn't angry about it anymore, he didn't want to relive it, but he didn't want Ryan to have to relive it either. Partially, it was his own fault. He inched closer to him, not saying a word, rather bringing Ryan into his arms and enveloping him into a warm, cautious embrace, which, in turn, only made Ryan cry harder; but that was okay, it was what he probably needed. 

"I just- Before I knew it I was gone- a-and you were gone- and I-" Ryan inhaled deeply, burying his face into Brendon's chest and clinging to him like he was afraid to let go, sniffling and struggling to catch his breath. 

"Calm down, you'll make yourself sick," Brendon reminded, slowly threading his fingers through Ryan's messy hair. Ryan murmured something incoherent into Brendon's shirt, coughing once, his sobs becoming quiter. Brendon tightened his arms around him, holding him lovingly; like he was to be protected. 

"Okay?" He whispered once Ryan had calmed down, them still laying in that same position. Ryan nodded into the fabric of Brendon's shirt, nuzzling him.

"I love you," Brendon assured him, resting his chin overtop of Ryan's head. 

"I love you, too," Ryan meekly promised. Brendon nodded, nuzzling his face in Ryan's curls and sighing contentedly.

"And then there's Jon," Ryan said, "He thinks he can make it out there all by himself." 

Brendon laughed lightly at that, shutting his eyes, "Jon will be fine," he said reassuringly, "Forget about Cape Town," he murmured tiredly, "Get some sleep, Ry."

**Author's Note:**

> I want death.


End file.
